November 14, 2007

The News From China

When my friend Zelda accepted a teaching position in Beijing, she did so with her eyes open. A veteran traveler, she had visited there while teaching at another Chinese university the year before. When the opportunity arose to teach some business courses, she carefully weighed the pros and cons. First on her list of pros was the chance for a new experience, something she almost always says "yes" to. On the flip side were the things we've all heard about China, and Beijing in particular: bad air, potentially dangerous food, and lots and lots of people.

Now that she is embedded there, I've had a chance to get inside information about the city that is preparing to host the Olympic Games in 2008.

I had read a news story about a stampede in a Beijing supermarket. People started lining up early in the morning to buy cooking oil, which the store was offering at a cut-rate price. When the doors opened, the crowd burst in and pandemonium ensued. The stampede killed three people and injured 31 others.

I e-mailed the article to Zelda, and asked her if it was a true account. She hadn't heard about it, but she commented nonchalantly that it sounded only slightly worse than a regular shopping expedition on any Sunday afternoon in Beijing.

Fighting the crowds in the grocery store was the least of her problems, she said. She went on to describe a day trip that had turned into a nightmare.

On a weekend sightseeing trip, she had taken a bus out of Beijing to another city 4 hours away.

Halfway there, the bus ran over a chicken. Big deal, you might say. You don't see a SamTrans driver screeching to a halt every time he accidentally runs over a squirrel. But the Chinese chicken was personal property, and an investigation was in order. It seemed that the chicken was indeed dead, and that there were feathers from that particular chicken on the tires of the bus. Therefore, the bus driver was guilty and must pay. Eager to be on his way, he offered the owner the equivalent of $3 for the chicken. She was more interested in making sure he knew just how terrible his crime was. In the midst of her harangue about the driver's incompetence, she recruited a friend to help her make her point. He stood in front of the bus to make sure the driver didn't escape until he was thoroughly chastened. When she finished her tirade, she took the $3 and the bus was once again on its way. The chicken drama took a full hour.

The trip home was also fraught with unscheduled stops - one for gas, one for a reason that was unexplained, and another for a pit stop that was indeed a pit, as in the kind you squat over to relieve yourself.

Then, one more stop, so that Zelda and other passengers could transfer to another bus going to their section of Beijing. Just when Zelda thought she was on the home stretch, she discovered the misadventure had only just begun. At the outskirts of Beiing, the driver stopped the bus abruptly and ordered everyone to get off.

Zelda, who knows enough Mandarin to make sure she's not ordering a Chihuahua cutlet in a restaurant, had no idea where she was. Fortunately she found an international hotel and showed them her map (which she had packed at the last minute), and they pointed her on her way to a taxi, which took her to the metro, which took her to the bus, which delivered her home a mere 7 hours after she had started out.

Zelda comes home to Redwood City in December. I'm betting she might actually kiss the ground at SFO. Then she'll get up, dust herself off, and start planning her next trip.