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October 26, 2007
How Does It End?
It's Alfred Hitchcock week on cable, and Keeper and I are
marveling once again at the quality of the English director's
suspense films. Even if we've seen them all before (and we
have) we can't remember exactly which scene features a glimpse
of the director himself, or which actors in minor roles later
became major stars. Besides, they're just plain fun, no matter
how often you've seen them.
TiVo knows we love Hitchcock, so it's been a treat to see
his movies appear on the "Now Playing" list without
having to search for them. On Wednesday we watched "The
Man Who Knew Too Much" with Jimmy Stewart in a tightly
controlled performance, and Doris Day in a surprisingly nuanced
one.
The climactic scene takes place in a foreign embassy, where
our heroes are trying to rescue their kidnapped son. The scene
involves Doris Day singing at the top of her lungs, which
I would normally find incredibly annoying, but in this case
it's important to the plot. Right when Jimmy shoves the villain
down the stairs and a shot rings out, the TV froze. TiVo had
stopped recording at that exact moment, probably to begin
taping an episode of Blind Date.
"Arrggggh!" I exclaimed, jumping off the couch.
"This can't be happening!"
"Oh, well," said Keeper, with his usual composure.
"We know how it ends." He ambled off to bed, Corky
following closely on his heels.
I sat and brooded. Sure, I knew that Doris and Jimmy get
their son back. Scotland Yard hauls off the bad guys and they
all live happily ever after, except the would-be assassin,
who went splat on the floor of Albert Hall.
I knew all that. Still, I felt cheated. I wanted, even NEEDED,
to experience that cinematic climax. Isn't that what movies
are for? Let's face it, the times when real life is wrapped
up so neatly are rarer than steak tartare.
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like as a
screenplay? Of course you have. And you've already cast Julie
Roberts or Harrison Ford in the lead, haven't you?
Movies, especially tightly crafted movies like Hitchcock's,
are one dramatic and pivotal scene after another. In "The
Man Who Knew Too Much" Doris and Jimmy don't waste any
time brushing their teeth, having lunch, or even kissing.
It's all about the crime.
Try writing a dramatic scene from the movie of your life.
Leave out all the mundane stuff you do. Where is the action
that moves the story forward? Yeah, I thought so. Me, too.
I can think of only a few real-life scenes that wouldn't have
audiences dozing off in their tubs of popcorn. Perhaps I'd
start with the pivotal childbirth scene, featuring the resident
fainting on the floor of the delivery room and the sweet-faced
Julia swearing like a sailor on shore leave.
What else has happened to me? Well, there was a chase scene
involving sheep, a purse-snatching incident in a Chicago McDonald's,
and a couple of times I was nearly run down in a crosswalk.
A fireworks accident, a sprained ankle, and a workplace confrontation
with a bully round out the drama. Other than that, it's mostly
been teeth-brushing and the like. You know, the stuff real
life is made of.
I'm incredibly lucky that my children have never been kidnapped,
we've never lost our home in a natural disaster, and we've
never been entangled in a plot to assassinate anyone. I hope
you, too, are leading a charmed life.
But Doris Day hasn't sung "Que Sera, Sera" yet.
God willing, there are plenty of script pages yet to fill.
I only hope I get to see the ending, because I don't know
how this one turns out.
__________________________________________________________
Mary is speaking in Palo Alto on Nov. 14. For more information
on this free event, e-mail Mary at mary@maryhanna.net
 
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