September 14, 2007

Go, Speed Racer

Everything I know about cars, I know because I'm the mother of two boys. If they weren't car buffs, I would live in ignorance of all words that have the prefix "turbo."

My older son Jason, has a super fast car with a "spoiler" on it. Apparently this is something that spoils your chances of beating him in a drag race. He once started to tell me that on the San Mateo bridge one morning at 3:00, he pushed his car to its maximum speed. When I realized he was confessing something that would freak me out, I covered my ears and hummed loudly. There are some things that a mother just shouldn't know.

Not to be outdone, younger brother Tom bought the exact same car, which he uses for drag racing in central Indiana. During a visit, he took me for a test drive which reached 90 mph when passing a minivan on a country road. The engine was screaming, thanks to whatever he had done to modify it, and it was just as well. The racket covered my own shrieking. Tom grinned and said, "Jason won't believe I had you up to 90. Listen, If he offers to drive you someplace, say NO." Knowing their competitive spirit, I swore an oath to stay out of all sports cars owned by my offspring from that day forward.

Except for the annual domestic squabbles when my father brought home a new car without consulting my mother, cars were not a big deal in my family. Comfort and reliability were always what we looked for, but occasionally Dad went a little quirky on us. How else to explain the little red Vauxhall he brought home, or the kicky little T-bird that showed up in the driveway?

I am still in love with my Subaru Forester, whose purchase was documented with a column a couple of years ago. It was the first brand new car I had bought in 30 years, and despite my pent-up desire, I still went for comfort and reliability. It drives like a brick ( I spurned the "turbo" option) but I feel very safe in it.

Keeper is entirely uninterested in cars. Maybe it's because it takes him a year to put 2,000 miles on the odometer. Daily trips to and from the train station and the occasional expedition to the dentist's office or the hardware store just don't justify a fancy car, so he drives the reject with the peeling paint. We've thought about getting it repainted, but that would be like putting lipstick on a pig. Besides, the quotes are twice what the car is worth.

It's clear that Tom and Jason's need for speed didn't come from their step-father. Keeper is what's politely called a "cautious" driver. Okay, he drives like a little old lady, and not the one from Pasadena.

Keeper takes my pokes at his driving in stride. We have a running joke that if he wins the lottery he's going to buy a Lamborghini. I can't wait to tell him that they just came out with a new model that sells for $1.4 million. Its just what every little old lady needs.