August 31, 2007

No Men Allowed

I know it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender, and good riddance to this practice. Although we are still tolerating, even encouraging, opposite gender hatred in children--What girl hasn't snickered at "Girls Rule, Boys Drool"? What boy hasn't been a member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?--it is increasingly inappropriate, and some might say, harmful.

So, I am in no way advocating that businesses restrict their clientele to members of one sex or the other. Men, you have allowed us to infiltrate the boardroom, the Senate, and strip clubs (thanks so much for this one.) In return, we have welcomed you with open arms into traditionally female realms such as the delivery room, the kitchen, and competitions for Prom Queen.

Men, you have a legal and moral right to be there, so what I'm asking for is strictly voluntary. Would you please, pretty please, stay out of nail salons?

Let me relate my personal experience with sharing pedicure space with a man. I was sitting in the green vinyl chair with my feet propped up on the stool in front of me, on which sat a diminutive Vietnamese woman with magical hands. We had reached the leg massage portion of the deluxe pedicure and I was blissing out while she vigorously rubbed warm lotion from my knees to my toes.

In walked a man wearing sandals, exposing thick nails with a decidedly green tinge. He asked for a pedicure. The nail tech who had been reading magazines and chewing gum while waiting for the next customer suddenly jumped up and got busy rearranging supplies, leaving the youngest tech, who was just finishing a manicure, to put the gentleman's feet to soak in a chair next to mine.

At this particular salon, they are scrupulous about cleaning their tools, but the sight of those feet being dunked in a foot spa identical to mine had a certain queasiness factor.

The nail tech was extremely courteous to her male customer, making small talk as they are expected to do.

I, however, was jolted out of my massage-induced reverie and told my tech that my lunch hour was almost over. She hurriedly dried and painted my toenails.

At least Fungus Man was polite. My second encounter with a nail salon interloper of the male variety was truly disgusting. The arrival of this guy caused a stir as well. He was well-dressed and good-looking, but that didn't make any of the women jump up to serve him. He wanted a foot massage. Finally, after much chattering in Vietnamese, somebody drew the short straw and took him to the back room (nothing funny there, it was just to spare the female customers, I think.)

When they were out of sight, my tech gave me an earful. They don't like male customers, she said. "They always want massage, and they want us to go higher than knee. Nasty!" she proclaimed indignantly. If they just wanted a pedicure, the tech had to contend with calluses that required an electric sander and toenails that took hedge clippers to trim. The women did this cheerfully, without charging more than they charged women.

Ten minutes later, Mr. Rub-a-dub emerged form the back room and stopped at the counter to pay. Despite a prominently displayed sign that stated "$20 minimum for charge card" he had a fit because he didn't have the $10 cash (never mind the tip) to pay for his foot bath. He argued with the woman, whose English was limited to "What color?" and "$20 minimum." She stood her ground. I sat with my feet under the nail dryer, waiting for him to say, "Make the other $10 a tip," when he angrily insisted that he get 10 more minutes of foot massage for his $20. The tech, who had already scrubbed the foot spa on her hands and knees, was forced to help him off with his socks and rub his feet with lotion for another 10 minutes while he smugly read the Wall Street Journal.

I'm begging you, gentlemen. Let us have nail salons to ourselves. We customers don't want to see your icky feet and women who are working in nail salons shouldn't have to suffer your unbearable condescension.