August 29, 2007

Time to Get a Grip

In case you missed these stories, here is some news that is making my eyebrows go up this week.

In one of those hurry-up-and-publish medical studies designed to make us worry unnecessarily, the eating habits of pregnant rats and the food preferences of their offspring have been studied at the Royal Veterinary College in the U.K. Apparently, British rats who were fed junk food while they were preggers gave birth to rat babies who craved junk food. Ergo, a pregnant woman should not indulge her cravings for cheeseburgers lest her baby's first words be "Supersize that."

I always thought a hankering for pickles meant that the baby needed more salt and vinegar. Now this British study is saying that pregnant women who yearn for salami sandwiches and ice cream should not give in to their cravings. To which I say, "Rubbish! Pish tosh! Unadulterated balderdash and Bob's your uncle!"

In the first place, the researcher, a Mr. Neil Strickland, to my knowledge has never been pregnant. Therefore, he doesn't understand that a craving is not a whim. It is not a passing thought. It is a powerful, obsessive need that will not be denied. If the woman wants a chili dog, then a chili dog she shall have, and woe to he who tries to put her off it with a medical study. An expectant mother who eats an otherwise healthy diet and occasionally downs a hot dog shouldn't worry that she will give birth to a junk food addict. Besides, when the newborn lies in his crib and demands cheese fries, what's he gonna do? Hijack Dad's car and drive to Taxi's? He can't even reach the pedals.

Get a grip, people.

In another story this week that had me slapping my forehead, job candidates are warned to be careful about personal information they post on the internet. Thirty-five percent of hiring managers Google job candidates, according to a recent study by a "think tank." (Don't you just love that term? It makes me picture brains in jars.)

Some people, mostly those whose friends have posted photos of them dancing naked on a bar after winning a Jello-O shot competition, think this is an invasion of privacy. First, (duh!) there is no privacy left on earth, especially on the internet. Grow up and get a clue. Don't put anything on the internet that you don't want your mother and your boss to know. Second, why aren't the other 65 percent of the hiring managers checking out candidates this way? Hiring someone based on a creatively written resume and a best-foot-forward interview is like asking someone to marry you after you read their Facebook profile. It just ain't the whole story.

And finally, an important milestone in the field of artificial intelligence has been reached. Canadian scientists have perfected a computer program that is incapable of making a mistake on a specific task. For the last 18 years, 50 computers have been working around the clock to analyze the many complexities of this task. Now, in our lifetime, there is a computer that can play…checkers. That's right. Checkers. Chinook, the long-awaited checkers-playing machine, can never be defeated by a mere human.

Next up? A machine that can whip your kid's butt at Candyland.