August 3, 2007

Fun on the Cheap

It's that time of year when mothers of young children everywhere are counting the days until their little ones go back to school. Teachers are counting days also, but in a "28 days until incarceration" kind of way.

For parents at home with bored children, the Lifehacker web site offers "10 ways to entertain young children for $1 or less (without the TV)" by Brad Isaac, a software programmer.

As an experienced end-of-summer-with-bored-children survivor, I offer some modifications and refinements to Lifehacker's list.

1. Large cardboard boxes. The online list suggests that "a large cardboard box can entertain an imaginative child for hours." If your child is indeed imaginative, he or she can turn a refrigerator box into a fort from which to attack his brother, a bank (complete with teller's window where he'll happily take your deposit) or a spaceship on its way to Mars. My son Jason favored the spaceship, where he and his cousin Nathan produced a whole series of futuristic dramas called "Dogs in Space."

   But what if your child is not imaginative? What if he insists on climbing out of the box every time you put him in there? In keeping with our theme of $1 or less, I suggest a dollar's worth of duct tape and a game in which Mommy plays a sheriff.
   

2. Rubber band and pencil crazy bot. This suggestion involvs two pencils connected with a twisted rubber band. No child will be content to make this gizmo and watch it twist. He will take the pencil and rubber bands and make a slingshot, using his sister for target practice, or if he is an only child, the cat or that porcelain vase you carefully stowed on top of the bookcase. Just so you know.
   
   
3. Make a paper popper. This suggestion has ten steps that only a master in origami (or a third grader) could follow. I would opt for paper airplanes.
   
   
4. Kid's Workshop at a Giant Home Repair Store Which Shall Remain Nameless. Really, how many bat houses does one family need? Take him to a free compost workshop so he can learn to recycle the garbage.
   
   
5. Plant something. Lifehacker suggests that kids get a thrill out of making something grow. I would counter that they get a bigger thrill out of destroying something. Have them pull some weeds in your garden. It's a great way to channel excess energy.
   
   
6. Water sprinkler. "Water your kids too," suggests the list. No way this costs under a dollar, by the time you add up the bath water to clean them up, the sod to replace the grass they've pulverized into muck, and the psychic trauma to the cat during his unwilling participation in water play.
   
   
7. Bubbles, bubbles everywhere. The list gives the formula for creating free bubble solution and a handy wand. Thumbs up on this one.
   
   
8. Catch fireflies. Uh, do we have fireflies in California?
   
   
9. Paper airplanes. See number 3 above for the origami-impaired.
   
   
10. Tin can and string telephone. Yeah, sure. All his friends have iPhones, and you give him a tin can. He'll surely duct tape you into an empty cardboard box for this.