Porn for older ladies such as myself

He knocks on the door, wearing overalls and a smile. He listens attentively to your tale of woe, vows to make things right for you and gives you a sweaty hug. Be still my heart!

This hunk of manly man is not the male lead of a romantic movie, but a crewcut handyman named Mike. His TV show, “Holmes on Homes,” is a favorite of mine and many other women whose fantasies include a muscle-bound man who is determined to make us happy, not by wowing us in bed, but by tackling our honey-do list with tireless single-mindedness.

Mike is not afraid to badmouth all the other contractors who have done you wrong – cheated you, misled you, or abandoned you. “He stopped taking my calls!” you wail, and Mike shakes his head and mutters, “It’s just not right.” Then he takes up his sledgehammer and tears down the mess that that other guy left behind. He rebuilds it the right way. He goes above and beyond. The law requires R20 insulation? He’ll give you R30! You asked for baseboards? He’ll throw in crown molding!

Yes, Mike’s thing is pleasing women and I must say, I thrill at the sight of him with a jackhammer in his hands.

There are other TV contractors. There’s the pretty boy who will reno your income property. There’s the cute, hyperactive guy who rebuilds houses for deserving people who then go bankrupt trying to heat them. There’s the studly guy who graduated from Princeton, played in the NFL and now flips houses with his frat boy friends.

These hunky handymen may know their stuff. They may be geniuses with reciprocating saws. They may know the zoning law inside out. But they can’t hold a candle to my Mike. With his iron jaw and his gruff voice belying his puppy dog insides, Mike is the one I want.

Mike is a good listener, he is always on your side, and by golly, he’s going to make it right for you or die trying. What more could a woman want?