This, That, and the Other Thing

OVERHEARD

At breakfast this morning, the older couple in the next booth were chatting. (By the way, the definition of “older” is someone who is older than I am.)

She: Dan called and asked if you wanted to play golf today. I told him “no.”
He: Wha?? I would have played!
She: You have no business doing that.

And that’s that.

NEW RULES I WISH THEY’D POST AT THE GYM:

Don’t park your gum in the shower stall.

If you shed like a cheap fur coat, please unclog the drain for the next person.

Please wipe down the equipment after use. Especially is you’ve been straddling it. This means you, Lycra Man.

PROGRESS ON NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Clean pantry of outdated food, loose pasta, and potato chip crumbs. Done.

Clean out baskets where pet food and miscellaneous items are stored. Done. Bonus: found those keys I lost 15 months ago.

Clean out bedroom closet. Naw. I’m bored now.

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU, MAUREEN

When I returned to the gym after two weeks in France, I had forgotten my locker combination. After watching me struggle for 20 minutes my friend notified the front desk and they sent in the bolt cutters. Is 2 weeks sufficient time to delete a 3-number sequence from one’s brain? Or shall I make a reservation at Shady Acres?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A friend sent me this beautiful quote from a book I haven’t read (Their Eyes were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston):

“Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men. Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember, and remember everything they don’t want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.”

I believe it is true that women more fully inhabit their dreams than men do. Discuss amongst yourselves.

BRAIN TEASER

Here is a tough workout for your brain from our friends at Mental Floss:

Meet Adrian. She likes chocolate, but not peppermint. She doesn’t swim, but loves to skydive. She hates beer, but enjoys champagne. She drives a Dodge, never a Ford. And she’d rather read a magazine than a novel. Given this information:
Is Adrian closer to her aunt or her uncle?

Answer is here.

And, finally, a mantra for all of you couch potatoes from Steven Wright:

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

See you next time.