France? Why??

Many of you have asked what the heck I was doing in France all by myself.

It’s a fair question. Since I’ve shared such intimate details of my life as my adventures in a street corner toilet and my dog’s penchant for farting in bed, I guess I should be forthcoming about my pilgrimage to southern France.

One day last August I was browsing around YouTube, that repository of lowbrow culture that threatens to put “American’s Funniest Home Videos” out of business for good.

I came across a video of Barbara Sher, author of “Wishcraft” and “Refuse to Choose,” talking about people who can’t settle on a career. Obviously, this struck a chord with me.

I confess that I have Career A.D.D. My employment history is not exactly linear. I’ve been (in roughly this order, but sometimes overlapping) a hotel maid, a spinner of wool and weaver of cloth, a newsletter editor, a secretary, a catalog writer, a secretary again, a PR person, a web designer, a communications manager, a bureaucrat, a newspaper columnist, a speaker, an editor, a blogger, an ESL tutor, and a greeting card designer.

And so, when I read Barbara’s books and then saw her on YouTube, I was reminded that I’m not just somebody who doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, I’m a person who feels bad about it.

The video led me to Barbara’s web site, where I eventually found a podcast in which she talked about a retreat she runs for people like me (she’s dubbed us “scanners”). At these 5-day retreats, she works in depth with a small group of scanners to help them learn to follow their dreams, whatever they may be.

And then I heard the words that had me going to PayPal and clicking the button that said “Buy Now.”

“I’m an old woman,” said Barbara. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be doing these retreats.”

The next one (her last?) was in October, in (wait for it) France.

I consulted with Keeper, who seemed dazed initially but eventually said, as he always does, “If that’s what you want to do…” (See why he’s a Keeper, ladies?)

I dug out my virgin passport and headed for France, where I spent an exhausting four days walking around Paris before heading to Toulouse, where a driver would pick us up to take us up into the hills for the retreat.

The meeting spot was a little medieval town called Pulcelsi. It’s too small to be on most maps and the locals like it just fine that way. We stayed in the local inn, with a charming courtyard bordered by the necessities of French village life: a bakery, a flower shop, and a church.

Our days consisted of two intense 3-hour sessions with Barbara, a walk around the cobblestone streets of our fairy-tale village, and a much-anticipated 4-course meal from the award-winning chef who owned the inn.

Yes, yes, you’re thinking, but did you figure out what you want to do with your life?

I’ll tell you next week.

© 2010 Mary Hanna