Avoid a St. Valentine’s Day Massacre – Buy a Gift

Nothing brings out the angst like Valentine’s Day. Singles are desperate to be coupled, couples are anxious to stay out of the dog house, and retailers are frantic to sell us candy, flowers, and trinkets that will ensure a romantic ending to the big day.

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is fraught with peril.

First, there’s the age-old man-woman problem of unexpressed (and therefore unfulfilled) expectations. You know how this goes – SHE expects a gift, a romantic gesture, a little extra cuddling, and HE walks in the door with new recycling bins he found on sale at Home Depot. Mayhem ensues, ending with his plea from the couch where he’ll be spending the night: “You never told me Valentine’s Day was important to you!”

To which I say, baloney! If she is female, Valentine’s Day is important to her. When she says, “Don’t get me anything this year” she doesn’t mean it. When she says “You shouldn’t have,” she is lying. I can’t believe that men continue to fall into the same trap every year. Listen up, guys. Get her a gift and make it good.

Now, long-time followers of the Hanna marriage will remember the tales of Valentine’s Day Debacles: gifts not purchased, bouquets that triggered allergies, last-minute offers of dinner dates with no advance reservations on the month’s busiest night.

Finally, we have solved the dilemma. Sometime prior to the fateful day, a package arrives on our doorstep. I open it, ooh and ahhh, and later inform Keeper of what he bought me for Valentine’s Day. I pick out exactly what I want and he gets the credit.

Now, when I was a young bride, I was not so laissez-faire. I took the absence of romantic gestures from both Keeper and Starter Husband to mean that I wasn’t lovable. Or I was married to a jerk. Either way, I was not a happy housewife.

Now that I’m a grown-up, I have accepted the fact that gifts don’t equal love.

But they don’t hurt, either. So whether or not your sweetheart is cool with ignoring the holiday (and you know she’s not), make an effort, gentlemen. You don’t want her to feel unloved.

And you don’t want to sleep on the couch.