Take Time to Celebrate

You know how I love the holidays—ANY holidays.  No matter how obscure the observance, I want to honor tradition.  If it means taking the day off from work, I’ll make the sacrifice.  (Now that I‘m my own boss, I find it’s easier to explain why I need to stay home for Bulgarian Liberation Day. )

I wouldn’t say I’m making an excuse to slack off; let’s just say I believe EVERY day is a reason to celebrate.  Yeah, I’m a regular party girl.

The key is to plan ahead, especially if you are going to call in sick on a particular holiday.  You’ll need plenty of time to come up with a plausible excuse.

For your convenience, I’ve compiled a list of the major holidays for the next few weeks so you can think about how you want to celebrate.  Suggestions for appropriate observances are included.

Ready, set, mark those calendars!

Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day (July 27)

Observance: Put your plants in a wagon or wheelbarrow and walk them around the neighborhood.  It will bring them a sense of well-being.

Notes: Make up excuses to offer neighbors who are out walking.  (“We can’t have a dog; Tanya’s allergic”)

Walk on Stilts Day (also on July 27)

Observance: You couldn’t do it as a child, but maybe you’re more coordinated now.  Mastering this skill will bring self-confidence and perhaps a new career with the circus.

Notes: Do NOT try to walk on stilts while dragging your houseplants around the neighborhood.  You’ll just attract the wrong kind of attention.

National Mustard Day (August 1)

Observance: Celebrate the king of condiments by slathering the yellow stuff on anything edible.

Notes: If you are really into it, travel to mustard festival headquarters, Mount Horeb, Wisconsin., where you can sing along to the mustard college fight song with the “Poupon U.” marching band.

Psychic Week (August 3-7)

Observance: A time to concentrate those psychic powers on good causes.  But you knew that already.

Notes: When you’re through manifesting world peace, could you tell me where I put my iPod charger?

40^th Anniversary of Woodstock (August 15)

Observance: We all remember Woodstock, even if we only read about it in Life Magazine.  Lots of sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll.  Good times.

Notes: Put on a little Country Joe & the Fish, light up a doobie, and roll around in the mud.  Good times.

Black Cow Anniversary (August 19)

Observance: On this day in 1893, a Cripple Creek, Colorado, brewer dropped a scoop of vanilla ice cream in a glass of root beer, thus inventing the root beer float or “Black Cow.”  Pay homage by slurping one up.

Notes: Raise a toast to my Dad, who never met a root beer float he didn’t like.

Anniversary of Pluto’s Demotion (August 24)

Observance: On this day in 2006, members of the International Astronomical Union voted to demote Pluto from planet status.  In a statement that smacks of size discrimination, the astronomers declared Pluto a “dwarf planet.”

Notes: If your Mom saved that model of the Solar System you made in 7^th grade, it may be worth some money.  Put it on eBay.

Well, there you have it—a pile of reasons to celebrate in the upcoming weeks.  If you can’t take the time off, have a little party at your desk. (NOT recommended for Woodstock celebration.)

Enjoy.