What’s your hugging style?

As if celebrating Martin Luther King Day followed immediately by the inauguration of our new president weren’t enough, there is another special day this week: National Hugging Day.

On Wednesday, January 21, 2009, we are encouraged to wrap our arms around someone and squeeze. Preferably someone who will hug us back, because hugging someone who stands there all stiff-armed is really embarrassing. It’s like throwing a ball for a dog who won’t fetch it, but just sits there looking at you; a one-sided hug just leaves you hanging.

With the arrival of the official annual hugfest, it’s a good time to review hugging styles and protocol.

Here are some basic rules.

Do it right. A proper hug, I recently learned, is performed with each party lifting his or her left arm and stepping into the embrace. This puts the huggers heart-to-heart and maximizes the energy exchanged. Raising right arms puts the huggers liver-to-liver and who wants that?

Don’t commit harassment. Business hugging is tricky. In a leadership class, I was taught that the proper way to hug in the workplace is to face the same direction, reach around the back and pat the other’s shoulder. This is called a “sideways hug” and is non-threatening and totally non-sexual, since none of your private parts come in contact unless there’s a earthquake or the elevator lurches.

Understand that not everyone likes to hug. My husband will not, under any circumstances, initiate a hug with another man, even his brothers. Oh, he’ll hug back if a family member hugs him, but he’s never the first one to lift his left arm (or his right, for that matter).

That said, there is room for endless variation among consenting adults. Here are a few styles to choose from:

The group hug. When a hug between two people attracts those who want to pile on, listen for the announcement. “Group hug!” someone will shout, and then it’s a free-for-all. Although they look similar, the group hug is different from the huddle that takes place on a football field, as no plays are being called.

The A-Frame. This is often done by acquaintances of the opposite sex. Bodily contact is restricted to the arms and shoulders. If the huggers are both female, the A-frame hug may include air-kissing.

The nuzzle. This is my favorite hug to get from Keeper. My nose is cold, his neck is warm. Need I say more?

The pat-a-cake. In my family, we believe that no hug is complete without some love pats. When my boys were small I would pat out a tune on their backs and make them guess what it was. if they could correctly identify “The Farmer in the Dell” in our tactile version of “Name That Tune,” I would read them an extra story.

The “Dirty Dancing” hug. I mention this one not to encourage it, but in hopes of seeing less of it in public. Really, people. I’m all for hugging, but gyrating and roaming hands should not be on display at the mall. Thank you.

The run-and-jump. This is quite the rage in Hollywood. Boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, then boy and girl spot each other on the street and run toward each other. The girl leaps into the boy’s arms and they hug and kiss and promise everlasting love. Twirling if optional, but is a nice touch. The end.

You may not want to jump into a stranger’s arms for National Hugging Day, but start with a smile and see if a little friendly squeezing doesn’t naturally follow. Enjoy.