Sometimes I think if another stranger says to me, “Have a nice day!” I’ll have a meltdown. The expression of this wish is so automatic as to be meaningless. And so is the required response: “You, too!” This exchange marks the end of every casual conversation, every retail transaction, virtually every encounter with another human being. Here’s an example:
“Ma’am, I clocked you going 17 miles over the speed limit.”
“Aren’t there some drug dealers you should be arresting, officer?”
“Here’s your ticket, Ma’am. Have a nice day.”
“You, too.”
Just because the phrase is ubiquitous and rolls off the tongue without thinking doesn’t mean that people DON’T want me to have a good day. It’s just that a “one size fits all” phrase is so impersonal.
Maybe being impersonal is the point. After all, it is almost impossible to have a meaningful conversation with the cashier at the drugstore. Saying something pleasant and benign keeps the line moving.
It also avoids the danger of overstepping boundaries. At my last job, the cashier in the basement cafeteria was a native of a country where personal information is freely shared. She asked me where I bought my purse and how much I paid for it. She asked me where my children live and if I have grandchildren. One day, she looked me over and frowned. “I no like that blouse. The color make you look ill.” At that point, I would have welcomed a “Have a nice day!” and so would the customers waiting in line behind me while I endured an unwanted fashion critique.
I’ve always thought of manners as the grease on the wheels of society–they keep things running smoothly.
If you prefer, manners are the stitches in the fabric of society–they keep it from falling apart.
Whatever the metaphor, manners are important, and the “have a nice day” people should be applauded for their efforts to keep our society greased and/or stitched. I just wish they’d mix it up once in awhile.
Being a word person, I’ve always searched for alternatives to the standard phrasing. For instance, I never said goodbye to my kids at the door with a “Be careful.” It was always “Don’t be careless.” In other words – don’t do anything stupid. This flipped-over version always made more sense to me as a warning to teenage boys. I like to think that it prevented at least one daredevil act or negligent mishap.
Similarly, there are alternatives to the “nice day” phrase. There’s nothing wrong with wishing someone an above-average day. Two of my personal favorites are “Have a perfectly adequate day” and “I hope you have a decent day.”
Try one of these alternatives and notice the looks you get. People are so used to the “nice day” slogan that they don’t even hear it anymore. Or, like me, they are secretly irritated by it and will be delighted by the change.
If you are not only irritated but incensed by being wished a nice day, you might want to mark Wednesday, Nov. 19 on your calendar. It’s “Have a Bad Day” Day. Feel free to use this phrase judiciously. Just don’t be careless.
November 15th, 2008 at 11:14 am
A gal in my office often finishes a conversation with “thanks for shopping” or “have a good one” (a good what?) and my boss too often walks away from a meeting saying “don’t work to hard” though I know he really means the total opposite.
I’m going to start saying “may the force be with you” and hope for the best.
November 17th, 2008 at 5:33 am
Hi Mary. I do try to mix up the usual with “Have a fantastic day”.
November 17th, 2008 at 5:52 am
How about Vaya con Dios? If you can’t sing it (yes, there is a swarmy little tune of that name) you cansay it liltingly. Or, Back atcha! as a response? Buy Bonds! ( A favorite from the wartime forties.)Then there’s Sayonara to give some limit to your encounter. I am ashamed to say I once said “O, dry up!” to a harangue from a peevish manager of a greasy spoon where I hauled out my cookies from home to eat with her coffee. That’s life and I’m out of here.
from the curmudgeon-ette.
November 17th, 2008 at 5:55 am
I just did! Le me know ifyou don’t receive it.
November 17th, 2008 at 8:27 am
I’d like to add to the meaningless interchanges that make me crazy such as,”No problem” and “My bad.”
If I ask a cashier to ring up my purchase, too often the response is, “No problem.” I didn’t think paying for my purchase was a problem?
When did “My bad” turn “bad” from an adjective into an adverb?
But, then why should I be surprised? Use of such phrases is the continuing process of the dumbing down of the U.S. Aaarrrggghhhh
November 17th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
My dear friend Mike used to answer, “Thanks, but I’ve made other plans” to the have a nice day. If people were listening, they’d laugh.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
the one that drives me NUTS is “did you find everything you needed?” When I reply with a “No, I couldn’t find …” the cashier is absolutely flummoxed. So why ask?