How to Flummox Your Waiter

You know you’re in Chez Fancy Pants when you ask your server for a glass of water and he asks if “still” is OK. I figured he meant “tap water.” I’ve been drinking Hetch Hetchy water for 10 years and am none the worse for wear, so I nodded my consent.

Besides, I was afraid to ask for “moving” water. It would just betray my ignorance of fizzy, sparkling, fruity water, which is just Hetch Hetchy dressed up to go out.

We were at Foreign Cinema, that cool place in the Mission that shows artsy-fartsy films against the back wall to distract the diners form the fact that every oyster they swallow is another $2 on their MasterCard. 

The occasion was a celebration of the fact that my son Jason just became a grown-up: he signed a 30-year mortgage on a new condo a few blocks from Foreign Cinema and light years away…(Read more)