We All Have to Pay

As I sat down to write this column, my mind refused to focus. And who could blame me? After days upon days of being bombarded with bad news, writing something light and amusing is a challenge. And yet, I know you depend on me for that.

The list of things we’re supposed to worry about, itemized every day in the news, was so much on my mind that I decided to just get it all out. Psychologists sometimes advise writing down your worries and fears on a piece of paper and then tearing it up or burning it to a pile of ashes to symbolize letting go

I’m guessing that some of you have the same worries. Let’s try the write-and-release method and see if we feel better.

First on the list is the economy–as it is in every single headline or newscast. Here’s what bugs me the most. Keeper and I are not well off, but we’re comfortable. I consider us to be blessed–by parents who gave us a head start, good educations, and the skills to earn a living. We’ve played by the rules. We make our mortgage payments, we own a modest car, we don’t buy stuff we can’t afford.

Now, we’re being asked (well, ordered, really) to bail out the high-finance geniuses who were greedy. It just doesn’t sit right.

And here’s an example of just how messed up things are: the sign in New York City that keeps track of our national debt has run out of numbers. That’s right. Just like the gas pumps that all had to be retooled because no one foresaw that gas would someday cost more than 99.99 cents, the digital sign near Times Square needs to be retrofitted because our debt has grown to more than 10 TRILLION dollars. If you’re curious, your family’s share is more than $86,000.

If you can’t fathom the magnitude of that number, let’s talk toilet paper. I usually just throw stuff in the cart at the grocery store and make small talk with the bagger as the checker totals them up, but last time I paid attention. I discovered I was paying nearly $10 for toilet paper. Granted, it’s the good stuff — Keeper and I have earned a little comfort in our dotage– but $1.63 a roll is a lot of money down the toilet. There must be a way to blame George W. for this.

This whole bailout thing (I refuse to call it a “rescue” plan) is just the latest item in a long pattern of our society catering to the lowest common denominator. Bad guys lose a lot of money? The rest of us have to give them more. Terrorists bring down planes? The rest of us have to suffer through intrusive –and ineffective– security measures. Somebody tampers with a bottle of pain reliever? I’ll bet more people have been hurt trying to cut open “tamper-proof” packaging than were ever hurt by tampering.

This whole thing reminds me of Miss Newby’s 4th grade class at Daniel Webster School.

It was Friday–spelling test day. I had studied my words and was confident of a good score. But my classmate TImmy, who never studied, decided to disrupt the test by speaking out in a loud voice. Back then, this was a serious offense and the rest of us sat with pencils frozen in mid-air, shocked to our core. We were afraid to look up. Miss Newby took swift action. “Timmy! Because you broke the rules, the whole class will have to miss recess!”

The rest of us, the ones who studied and kept quiet, wished the teacher had just smacked Timmy with a ruler. Why did we have to suffer? 

The injustice of it all festered, and when we had recess the next day, another boy beat the stuffing out of Timmy behind the monkey bars.

Well, it looks like we didn’t get past number one on the list, did we? Go ahead and add your own pet peeves. Then, if it makes you feel better, tear up the list. (Please don’t burn it.) Better yet, take it with you to the polls on Nov. 4. It’s time to vote out Miss Newby.