Make a List and Tear It Up

Kids today. They’re so sure of what they want, even when it comes to finding a mate. The young people I know keep a list of characteristics that they are looking for in a significant other. The lists include categories like “must haves,” “bonus points,” and “deal breakers.”

“Must haves” might include things like a job, a sense of humor, and tight abs. “Bonus points” might be given for owning a house, having an advanced degree, or playing the alto sax. Nearly everyone has a list of “deal breakers” such as bad credit, restraining order, or black leather furniture.

Dating with a checklist is doomed to failure.

If I had made a list and stuck to it, I never would have found the love of my life, because my list would have included “no polyester knit bell bottoms, rusty car, or tendency to snore.” I married a man with all three and have…(Read more)