Generation Boom

Being a Baby Boomer means, well, 1001 different things. Now there is a book that attempts to document them. It’s called “1001 Things it Means to Be a Boomer Now” by Harry H. Harrison (Thomas Nelson, 2008).

Harrison’s take on our generation is a wide-ranging one. As he says in the introduction, his book is “a picture of what a generation that came to age in the sixties is doing, now that they’re facing their sixties.”

Some of the quips resonated with me. For example, #3: “Being a boomer means you still know the words to the song that opened ‘The Mickey Mouse Club.’”

Or #347: “Being a boomer means you’ll apply for Social Security over the Internet. If you can tear yourself away from YouTube.”

With 1001 to choose from, you’re sure to find something you can relate to. But of course, every single one of us is different, and special. We don’t fit the mold, do we? Heck, no! So, I wrote a few of my own, and I encourage you to do the same.

Here goes.

Being a boomer means you still know the words and motions to “I’m a Little Teapot” and now you actually are shaped like a teapot.

Being a boomer means that somewhere, in your closet or your mother’s attic, there’s a moth-eaten Girl Scout uniform. That’s why you still order Thin Mints every year.

Being a boomer means that at any moment you may castigate yourself for not calling your parents enough while simultaneously cursing your children for not calling YOU enough. You appreciate the irony.

Being a boomer means getting all nostalgic over the smell of Vicks VapoRub.

Being a boomer means you believe your high school education was superior to what kids get today. And you’re right.

Being a boomer means you had a denim-covered notebook in high school and you divided the world into two groups: those who drew on their notebook covers and those who didn’t.

Being a Boomer means you remember your SAT scores but you have to keep a card in your pocket with your ATM passcode. (For the curious, my scores were 560 in Math and 750 in English. Don’t be impressed – they were insufficient to get me into Radcliffe.)

Being a boomer means you’re still smarting over not getting into Radcliffe. Or Harvard, or Stanford, or Yale. Just wait until you’re rich and famous and they ask you to speak at a graduation. Then they’ll be sorry!

Being a boomer means those words you said you’d never say (the ones your parents used on you) come out of your mouth every day. Things like “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Being a boomer means you used to think that BenGay smelled like old people. Now it smells like “weekend athletes.”

Being a boomer means accepting other people’s limitations, but never your own.

Finally, I find I can’t improve on “1001 Things” author Harrison’s #993: “Being a boomer means it’s time to quit grieving the person you could have been.”

So, get on with your Second Half. It ain’t over yet.