I’m All A-Twitter

Over a low-tech lunch of chicken tenders and fries, my son Jason and I had a high-tech conversation about our web sites. We use the same platform (WordPress), but his is, of course, a hundred times more sophisticated than mine. He has newsfeeds, categories and an interface with Flickr. Mine has a title, some tabs, and a couple of pictures. When it comes to bells and whistles, I’m pretty much out of it. Jason is my link to the techno world.

So when he started talking about Twitter, I listened. For those who are in the dark, Twitter is a thing that allows you to type comments to a bunch of your friends all at once. They can receive it on their desktops, laptops, or cell phones. It’s kind of a subscription alert system. If I were subscribed to Jason’s Twitterings, I would receive his every uploaded thought, such as what he thinks about being stuck in traffic.

“So, what do you and your friends Twitter about?” I asked, dipping a french fry in ketchup.

“You know, about spontaneous events and such,” said my son.

“What kind of spontaneous events?”

“Like, if some of us want to go to a movie, we send out the word and see who’s interested,” he told me, by voice in real time.

“Hmmm. I don’t think I have enough friends to Twitter,” I mused. “Besides, I don’t do spontaneous events. Everything I do with other people is scheduled.”

We parted with a promise to get together for dinner next time I cooked. I spent the afternoon trying to remember the last time I called somebody up on a whim and said, “Let’s meet for a drink” or “Let’s go to a movie.”

Tragically, I couldn’t think of a single instance. Sure, it used to happen in college. I remember gathering a group to play Frisbee, and another one to go out for margaritas. Warning: do not attempt to play Frisbee after consuming four margaritas. They make your wrist too relaxed to get any spin action going. Besides, you fall down a lot.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I was remembering being spontaneous. It doesn’t come naturally to me any more. Perhaps because I no longer live in a building with a lot of people who are eager to escape studying and will do anything to get out of the dorm.

Being mature, married, and mainstream seems to limit one’s opportunities to be extemporaneous. Or maybe it’s just us.

I remember one Monday night, suggesting to Keeper that we go out for dinner and a movie. At first he was flummoxed. Go to a movie on a school night? Well, he may be a bit regimented, but he’s a good sport, so he went along with my wild idea. He said later that it was nice to do something different for a change. To Keeper, going to a movie instead of watching TV is as madcap as it gets.

For me, Twitter comes 35 years too late. In college, I had enough friends and enough spontaneity to make use of the technology.  Now, the only thing I can imagine Twittering to my friends is that Walgreen’s has 50% off Extra Strength Tylenol.