Stimulus-Response

Have you received your stimulus package yet? You know, the $300-600 check that the government is offering to taxpayers in the belief that we will go out and stimulate the heck out of the economy. They hope we’ll forget about the ginormous debt that our lawmakers are running up for our grandchildren to deal with.

The Gallup people wanted to know if the checks were indeed in the mail after the government announced it was sending them out early. Gallup started telephoning people on Sunday night, April 27, before any checks had been sent or automatic deposits made. In spite of this, three percent of those polled said they had already received the stimulus package. By Wednesday night, April 30, when deposits should have started actually showing up, the percent saying they had received it was…three percent.

This tells me two things. First, the Sunday night respondents thought the question was, “Have you already SPENT your tax rebate?”

Second, the reaction to the news that Congress is throwing us a bone is a resounding “Whoop-de-do.”

People I’ve talked to are underwhelmed about the whole thing. “Gee, I might refill my Starbucks card with it,” said a Gen X friend whose caffeine budget runs to three figures per month.

“I’m going to eat it,” said my friend Sue. “It’s going right to Safeway with me.”

Other friends are planning to purchase two or three tanks of gas with their rebate.

I asked Keeper his opinion of the rebate program and was immediately sorry. He started in on a diatribe against the administration and its illegal war. “Do they think we’re stupid?” he yelled. “They put three hundred bucks in one pocket, and in the other pocket, they stick an invoice for 500 billion dollars.”

I made him stop when his face turned the color of an eggplant.

He may sputter when he speaks about the government, but Keeper is right about one thing. They do think we’re stupid. And, hey, the Gallup poll shows that we’re not exactly on top of this whole rebate thing.

When the pollsters asked how people were going to spend the money, however, they were clear: Pay bills or save it. Only 24 percent said they were going to spend it, with a measly one percent saying they would donate it to charity. SO much for stimulating the economy.

What, you may ask, are the Hannas gong to do with their windfall? We’re going to pull a pocket trick of our own. Uncle George will put the money in one pocket and Uncle Arnold will take it out the other. Our entire rebate is going to pay our tax obligation to the State of California. All together now: Whoop-de-do.